Finding Me by Michelle Knight

Author:Michelle Knight [Knight, Michelle]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781602862579
Publisher: Weinstein Publishing
Published: 2014-05-06T00:00:00+00:00

NOT LONG AFTER I received the TV I got another surprise—a shower.

“You stink,” the dude said to me one morning. No shit, Sherlock. After almost eight months with no shower, I was pretty gross. My white skin looked brown. I had smudges of dried blood, dirt, and pee all over me. My legs were so hairy that they looked like a man’s. And I never got used to the way I smelled. It was so bad that it sometimes made me gag.

“I’m going to take you down to the bathroom so you can wash up,” he said. Is this some kind of mean trick? Or another test? Or is he really going to let me clean myself up? I had no idea. He unchained me and I followed him out. Going down the stairs made me a little dizzy after so long stuck in the blue room, so I took each step slowly.

The bathroom was on the main floor. I had never been inside it. He opened the door and said, “I’ll wait for you out here.” He handed me a tiny sliver of soap. “Make it quick,” he said as I walked through the door.

The bathroom was a total wreck. The toilet was covered with flaking brown dirt. Spider webs were in every corner. All kinds of trash covered the floor. There was mildew on the walls. I put down the toilet seat and sat on it. For once, I wanted to use a bathroom like a normal person instead of like a wild animal. As my pee hit the water, I could feel the whole toilet bowl rocking back and forth; it wasn’t totally bolted down to the ground. There wasn’t any toilet paper. I had just one thought: How the hell does anyone live like this?

I looked at myself in the mirror above the sink. I looked hideous; I couldn’t believe it was me. My brown hair was now shoulder-length and was standing up in every direction. It was so full of semen that it was hard as a rock. My eyes were bloodshot from the months of constant tears. My face was pale because I hardly ever saw sunlight. There were deep purple-and-yellow bruises on both sides of my face from all the times he’d socked me in the head. I started to cry. Is this really happening? Will I spend the rest of my life here? I wondered. Even though I had been in the house for about eight months, I still felt like I was trapped in some kind of horror movie. But seeing my bruised face told me just how real this all was. Looking at my hair, I decided at least I could try to do something about that.

The dude pounded his fist on the door and shouted, “Hurry up in there!” I stepped inside the tub. It was filthy and had a ring of black dirt all the way around it. I turned on the hot water. Even after it ran for a minute, only cold water came out.

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